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Joke
Oct 16, 2006 9:45:05 GMT -5
Post by fT! J^ck on Oct 16, 2006 9:45:05 GMT -5
hahah
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Joke
Oct 16, 2006 9:45:54 GMT -5
Post by fT! J^ck on Oct 16, 2006 9:45:54 GMT -5
How do you know elephants have been having sex in your garden?
Your grass is flat and your bin bag has been stolen
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Joke
Oct 17, 2006 6:24:52 GMT -5
Post by fT! :p on Oct 17, 2006 6:24:52 GMT -5
TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM A MAN WHO'S HAD ENOUGH Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us pregnant doging about you leaving it down.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes. Crying is blackmail. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it! We don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on the calendar. Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. Check your oil. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic. You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something but not both. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. ALL men see in only 16 colours. Peach is a fruit, not a colour. If it itches, it will be scratched. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle. What the hell is a doily?
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Joke
Oct 17, 2006 11:01:51 GMT -5
Post by fT! :p on Oct 17, 2006 11:01:51 GMT -5
Definiton for Windows XP.
A 64-bit patch for the 32-bit patch for a 16-bit GUI shell running on top of an eight-bit operating system written for a 4-bit processor by a two-bit company that can't stand one bit of competition.
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Joke
Oct 18, 2006 9:59:22 GMT -5
Post by fT! J^ck on Oct 18, 2006 9:59:22 GMT -5
Good ones
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Joke
Oct 22, 2006 11:56:47 GMT -5
Post by fT! :p on Oct 22, 2006 11:56:47 GMT -5
Think of the trainspotting music then read this: Choose Chav. Choose no job. Choose no career. Choose a dysfunctional broken violent family. Choose a f***ing stolen television, choose cheap cigarettes, crap modded cars, white lightning and fake Burberry caps. Choose poor health, high cholesterol, and missing teeth. Choose state benefits. Choose a rat infested council estate. Choose no education. Choose tacky flammable market stall sportswear and matching fake gold. Choose attacking pensioners for their money so you can get an extra tin of Special Brew. Choose gangsta rap and ruling the playground like a tough hood, when in reality you are a f***ing coward. Choose hanging in a bus shelter with the other losers, spitting on and vandalising every thing in site, stuffing f***ing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the age of 30, pissing your last in a miserable council bed-sit, nothing more than an embarrassment to the 50 selfish, f***ed up chav brats you spawned to gain extra benefits. Choose no future. Choose Chav!
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Joke
Oct 23, 2006 16:37:05 GMT -5
Post by fT! M^gic on Oct 23, 2006 16:37:05 GMT -5
lol. excellent reading
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